1. |
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Is the light outside your window a guide or a pretender
The past hour has been spent over the thought
That and working through the tangles trapped between my neck and ankles
Countless knots tying me to me
If I loosen, choose to do it
Lift the shades to fill the room with
Temporary blinding like a lantern lit for finding
Finding you
Waking from the dreams, the mysteries to me
That wets my cheeks and swells these heavy lids
That reminisce a stranger, the life left for the danger
The comfort of a lingering dispute
If i have never dreamed of a face i havent seen up close
Then whats creation ‘sposed to be
All things are predetermined, an empty unread sermon
The followers of nothing are we
Is the howl outside your window a god or an offender
Is there really much a difference in between
Each devouring your senses, Demand worship and repentance
Its a loss however you explain
If your loosen, follow through it
Tether memory to ruin
You heart will soon be blinding by what was you
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2. |
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Oh my god, i’m losing my mind
It’s trailing behind like a school child
And i learned better to not let her
Wander so far and yet, here we are
All outlets, they’re full in the house shorting it out,
overcrowded now, get me out
And no, my God aint here, don’t exist
By the time i’d been baptized i overcame that
And i can’t fathom no holy anthem
And i swear to not worship caveats
This concept of love
It is eroding when all romance is foreboding
What’s too much? what is enough?
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3. |
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It’s always friendly til it’s not
Those good intending, they are not as common as you’re taught to think
So when you think you have encountered all that beauty youve been bound for
Keep track of that
It’s constant torture til it stops
Even brief segments when its not as painful as it used to be
So when i’m wrapped under the covers in the arms of a true lover
I’m released
It’s not a matter of whats said
Not if your actions dont reflect that
There is a permanence to painful memories
They live in me, they die with me and
It could be easier if i quit
Making excuses for the shit i know i didnt cause to be
So when i feel i cannot stomach all this poison spewing from this
I’ll retreat
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4. |
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So first thing, the nights not on my side anymore
And though i really miss it, yeah
well i adore the mornings when we’d
Hit the road, have a smoke and pass the empty hours
Til the sunlight starts to cower
And til i dont exist, nothing could mean more to me then this
Bliss is is whatever we do when we’re together
Times not real but what we feel is honest i promise
And last thing i ever thought id stumble upon
Is an opportunity to become all i’ve known i was
Was told i write too many songs and
They just drag, meander on
And so i wrote more slow songs to prove them wrong
And til i dont exist i cant see me ever doing different
Bliss is is however you can keep it together
Fames not real but how i heal feels better
Bliss is is a treasure
You create your own pleasure
Nothings real but how you deal is some measure of forever
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5. |
Years Now
03:40
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I keep on traveling in my dreams to
Take up any chance to meet you
Materialize before my eyes
Awaken and if i am mistaken
Then never let me wake
Thoughts cant slow to cushion feelings
So i always end up reeling
A bruised ego blue and yellow
Im just as fragile as i come off though
You’ll know what you get
Please do not take this as a warning
Its just that i miss you every morning
Im not alone but on own
A constant ache for what ive never known
I’ve dreamt you years now
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6. |
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Man, you were a friend of mine, i fucked it up, but that was true
And i can't make up my mind if i intend all that i do
And not one of you can look at me, unblinking eyes, say that's not you
What am i here for if not to be taught the truth
Man i could have locked you down, were there more patience in my heart
But that ran out nine miles back when you kept singing, fooling ‘round
This ain't no nintendo, no, you're a grown ass man so now
Turn back to that and hold onto that if you know how
If you had one solitary thought, not one your own
to see behind my eyes, the windows, now they’re sold but no ones home
what if it worked out it could have worked out
Man, i dont know what you want, i loved you til i didnt
But you had me when you did, a heartsick kid envisioning a life with you
Bye bye to you
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7. |
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once he's finally away from this town
you can bet he's gonna make a fool
a vulture's work is never done
a predator has many tools, oo
watch him! oo watch him!
better watch him!
meet you at the bar a little later
wake up in your bed and don't remember
meet you at the bar a little later
wake up in your bed and don't remember nothing
when your time comes no one will be surprised
not one reason, all he does is lie lie lie lie lie
fly vulture! fly vulture!
save up your apologies for someone else
save up your money you can get some help
don't want to ever see you reaching out
save up your promises someone else
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8. |
Bullshit
04:17
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My friend told me that you look like someone else
I think he’s wrong, but him saying it dont help
Cause that guy, he’s history
Too many years making waste of me
And it couldn’t have worked out
Without me giving up something else
Most days I’m not that confident
Too aware of the fairer days i’ve spent but
in the end im super thin
Does it change the kind of girl i am
Does it change the kind of friend i’ve been
I’ll never think im good enough for you
I’ve spent all this time preparing
Adjusting all the parts that i’d be sharing
An absurdist game of anticipating
I really I thought i’d move past all of this
Inconsequential bullshit
If maturity instantly means theres no room for anxieties
Id have stayed the age of seventeen
Til i fade into obscurity
And i replay the moment in my head
You accept me but that hasnt happened yet
And fuck if id ever really know
If its forever or if youll up and go but
At least id have done my thing
Where i strive to just be genuine
But i lie wheres my heads really been
And youll only find out after its too late
So
dont hesitate your spontaneity
Im just as much of fool as ill always be
Just wanteant yo be happy
No matter how fleeting
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9. |
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Jason has a place where jason goes
Hes got his video games, his bowl and his cello
And there are no lights cause the bills unpaid
But hes just fine living that way
Jason has an army of friends he loves
In his apartment pool all cooling off
And funerals playing on phone speaker
Were all joining in cause we remember those words
Come on alex wake up in the backseat oh crown of love
And Jason left for Portland on an old church bus
With a case of players playing for us
And you cant pump your own gas there
He said in disbelief on a late call
Bitching to me
And jason left to journey out to buy some smokes
Never to step back in his home
Cause some drunken clown he ran him down
And very soon he was gone
And i’ll never know his thoughts alone
On that crosswalk, cold, i’d left for tour
And i felt damn sure he’d want me playing on
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10. |
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Of all the blood you have, im half but
Of the time we spent you've had the most
Not close or are we
Cause you are still the only sister i have ever known And that i proudly own
I love you, not cause i have to
Of everything you are, i know you've guarded me with all
You've shown me parties and hard discarding of our foes
Fuck those people who dont know
We arent perfect are we opposites i don't know
But i’ll always show up back at your door Til we grow up no more
Of everyone i can recall you are the most eccentric of all
Never forget times we spent those kids, oh sister
Your picture it lives in my notebook
Oh 90210 poster and you
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11. |
A Plea
04:04
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Try til your heart, it’s exhausted then
Dry your eyes, get your shoes on and walk that shit off
A marathon, a sorrow song
Think it might be right, prepare the night for disappointment
Baby prove me wrong
I don't even care that i’d be twice the size of what is right
In those undistinguished eyes
fight what's been set as perception in your mind
We’re so much more than our physical fleshy forms
though i adore yours evermore, so please
Try just to love me as greatly when i was your screen, id seen
Wait
Time to rationalize
If what i fear is proven right then seems im better off
if you do not want me as i am then that would have to be your loss, your loss
I will not be any other than i am just for me and for only me
I love you as you are and if you dont youve got so far to go
til you will be loved as much as you could know and
i just hope you prove me wrong
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